Love, Myself
The mixed reaction to bell hooks' transitioning inspired me to release this piece. I heard a clip of her saying that the true radical writers, thinkers, the ones who truly shake, break, and make things aren't normally credited, profiled, quoted... in mainstream and are usually left to fend for themselves. They receive little to zero awards, grants, recognitions... It reminded me of Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech on being maladjusted. They were both admired by some and hated by most others—others who most likely use their lives, their activism, their penmanship to be in the graces of and gain favors with the very same systems that despised them. Which reminded me of Krishnamurti's words on fitting in perfectly in a world that's deeply sick. A world that drives us to hate ourselves. A world that is either indifferent or diminishes our genius to steal it from us, for fame and fortune, while giving us hell in return.
This month, I lost $2,500 a gig, again, for being that radical writer their children will love and quote. A person they'll pretend to have helped. I am left, once again, to fend for my family for not bending to the will of those who have become very well-adjusted to the world by commodifying the activism, the words, the lives, and deaths of people like me.
A tainted legacy will be their reward.
As for me: I've always had the support of a community that isn't beholden to monstrous hierarchies, sinister statuses, empty suits, deformed symbols... that sacrilegiously use their pain and suffering, the sacrifices of their ancestors to turn around and throw us all under.
A plague on all their houses.
A blessing on all of those who refuse to be hoodwinked and continue to fight the good fight.
If you enjoyed this piece (over five years in the making) and would like to help me recoup what I've lost this month (it is def priceless but I know our resources are finite):
Zelle: vargas365@gmail.com
Venmo: @Cesar-Vargas-1
Cash App: $vargas365
PayPal: CesarVargas365
Written, directed, edited by yours truly.
Featuring @starstruckworldd.
Los quiero mucho.
¡Muchísimas gracias!
